Well, I must really be ill. I've had four straight days of fever. This morning I was in tears with misery and relented to going to Urgent Care to see if anything could be done about my ridiculous dizziness, cough and aching. I rolled right out of bed and somehow despite not being able to even stand up straight, found the energy to smear on a bit of lip gloss because no matter how ridiculous the rest of me looked right out of my sweaty sick bed, I was NOT going to be seen without lip gloss. Turns out that was a waste of time...
I arrived at Urgent Care at 11am. Had to get all my info. into the "system"….SSN, birth date, closest relatives, insurance, marital status, occupation, HIPAA, blah, blah, blah. That took 30 minutes. While waiting, the lovely receptionist informed me that since I had a fever I would be required to wear a yellow surgical mask for the duration of my stay. Yes, a surgical mask. I totally get it. But, seriously….you should have seen how ridiculous I was. Certainly not one of my better moments. All my lip gloss rubbed off inside.
And, just let me say for the record that if you've never worn a surgical mask for 3 straight hours you have NO IDEA how HOT those things are. I was breathing my own hot breath…sweating and all underneath that thing. It was miserable. When no one was around, I did have to pull it down for a few seconds just to get a bit of fresh air.
I finally got called in for the initial nurse check over – weight, questions about relatives, overall health and then she declared with certainty that "you have the FLU, honey." I got what she called the "dreaded flu swabby" in which she jammed a six inch q-tip up my nose and must have swabbed my brain. I think I felt the thing behind my eyeball.
45 minutes later, the doctor arrived. Looked in my nose, mouth and ears and said he thought I had the flu.
30 minutes later, doctor came back and said flu test is negative….better get a chest x-ray.
30 minutes of chest x-ray action.
30 minutes later, doctor came back and said no pneumonia. Well, thank goodness. I'm sure I'll get a $500 bill for that relief.
Then, he took the next several moments to explain to me how we live in a viral world and pretty much how there's no telling what I have but that he'd give me two prescriptions – one for head congestion and one for dizziness. I think that was an obligatory prescription because he perhaps felt guilty that I had been there for THREE HOURS and was about to walk out with NO DIAGNOSIS.
So, I'm back at home tonight after having wasted half my day at Urgent Care. I'm just gonna sit here in the house and wait to get better or wait until the medical bills from today's visit start to roll in…whichever happens first. It'll probably be the latter.
4 comments:
This is not a pleasant experience. Not at all. As stylish as I am sure that surgical mask was on you - I know I would've been mortified as well. There's nothing like being humiliated, sick, wasting 3 hours of your day and then becoming financially drained over one single choice to visit a doctor who tells you that "you have the flu". Next time you get sick - call your mom, tell her to bring the kids back, but stay with you to help out, and then tell her that once you are well that she can then take them for those 4 glorious days so you can do what you really wanted to do! Catch you on the next girls night out!
Oh dear. I am emphatically hoping that as it is Sunday, you are much better and doing cart wheels in your family room! Am I close?
Hey girl...I've been offline. Hope you're feeling better. My friend Lori is helping at the women's thing tomorrow at your church. I was thinking of coming. I will look for you.
i think i peed thinking of you in the mask in the waiting room! Catching fresh air! I'm Dying!
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