Richie put his WHAT in the WHERE???

(At 7am on Saturday.)

Carson: "MOM!! Richie dropped his NUN CHUNK in the TOILET!"

Stranger words have never awakened me from a dead sleep.

Except maybe the time in college when the RA banged on my door during what I thought was a fire drill and yelled "Get up! The doors are on fire!"

Or, maybe the year that I was the RA and one of the little freshmen on my floor woke me up at 3am with a "Christie, my roommate's drunk and I'm not sure she's breathing! What should I do?" What the heck do I know? No, that's not really what I said. But, it is what I WANTED to say, followed by a lengthy lecture on all the dangers of underage drinking.

Ah…fond memories. Anyway…back to the nun chunk…. Yes, all of the kids call it a nun CHUNK and they're referring to the nun chuck attachment for their Nintendo Wii.

(Startled out of my warm, peaceful sleep….)

Me: "Well, GET IT OUT!! NOW!!!"

(Two minutes later, in a very matter of fact tone, as if this sort of thing happens every day. And, actually, it does.)

Avery: "Mom, I got the nun chunk out of the toilet and cleaned it off."

Me: "Great, good job, wonderful."

Now I can't go back to sleep because I'm wondering what else was in the toilet when Avery so boldly retrieved it.

I'm also wondering under what circumstances exactly Richie managed to drop the nun chuck in the toilet in the first place. Oh, wait, a moment of clarity…just now at breakfast while I'm writing this he asked if he could eat his yogurt with his controller ON. I'm guessing he dropped it while attempting this.