Ack! (literally)

The washer is still broken....and the kids have the flu.

Enough said.

Wishy washy

So, a week ago our washer started getting louder. Not just a little louder, but like, I-can't-hear-you-talking-to-me-if-we're-within-20-feet-of-the-thing loud! That was a couple of days before my sister came to visit. I normally do about at LEAST one load a day, if not more. Well, while we had company, I thought it was only reasonable to let the laundry slide, so by the time the girls left, I had literally about 10 loads backed up. YIKES! I started in on it Tuesday. And, the washer was still loud...I think the neighbors could hear it. Richard and I looked at each other with puzzled faces, but just let the thing keep running. About half-way into the second load (of TEN), I realized that it was making a lot of noise during the wash cycle, but it wasn't washing....you know, whatever you call it when it's doing the actual cleaning part. So, I have 10 loads of laundry in the floor, one in the dryer and one in a cylinder full of soapy water. My resourceful husband determined that some tiny little part was broken, but we'd have to wait a day to get the part. Meanwhile, we're up to 12 loads. We got the part today, put it on and the washer is still broken...something serious I fear. We've decided to bring in the big guns and have Pop (Richard's dad) take a look at it when he's here this weekend. Just what an unemployed family needs....major household appliances to start breaking down!

It reminds me of college days when I literally would go buy new socks to wear when I ran out of clean ones. We're running out of VERY ESSENTIAL items of clothing. Carson cried today when he had to wear a pair of his sister's socks. And, I estimate that by the time Saturday rolls around and a determination is made on the washer's status, we'll be up to 15 loads of laundry and my kids will be running around naked as jaybirds! I'm going to wash some of these very essential items in the sink tomorrow. Should be fun....yeah.

Blessings that bring humility

Since Richard resigned from his job, we have been so blessed with support from friends and family. It's been amazing. The love that we feel has been so encouraging. But yesterday we were blessed with a gift that is literally so great that it's unspeakable. It was a Malachi 3:10 blessing...God literally opened up the windows of heaven and heaped something on us that was amazing!

My initial reaction was to run from the blessing. The first word out of my mouth was "NO!" I was upset. I thought, "I can't receive this. The gift is too great. I'll never be able to repay it. Are we really that needy?" To my deceived ears it sounded like a proper, humble response. "Oh, no, we've got this. We can handle it. God bless you for your generosity, but no." The more I've thought about it though, it was not a humble response at all but the opposite--a proud one. The "NO!" was in reaction to the pain of a generous arrow piercing my proud heart. I am realizing that I am too proud to gracefully receive such a humbling gift. To receive it requires me to recognize that yes, I do have need. I want God to bless me in great ways, but I don't want to be brought to the point of great need that is often required for blessings to be felt. I want God to bless me in great ways, but I don't want to relinquish control of my life in a way that enables Him to bless me. Losing control and being in need is very uncomfortable. But, I'm beginning to see that it brings about the humility that pleases Him and that opens the door for his grace and provision to be poured out in my life.

Another thought came to mind as well..."Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13. If I'm struggling to humbly recognize my level of need and receive the symbolic laying down of a life from a friend in our present situation, how can I possibly have recognized my full level of need regarding Jesus laying down his life for me? If I am too proud to receive a significant gift from a friend, is it therefore possible that I have been too proud to really understand the full work of grace offered to me at the cross? For so much GREATER a gift was that! And so much GREATER the humility required to understand how much grace has been offered.

Carson's big decision

Today after church, Carson told Richard and me that he wanted to go to heaven to live with Jesus and that he knew he needed to ask Jesus into his heart. He has been learning about salvation at "Super Church" and has been able to recite the main points of salvation using colors (gold is for heaven, dark is for sin, red is for Jesus' blood, white is for forgiveness of sins and green is for new life). So, after spending time talking with him about it throughout the day, he prayed tonight just before bed and asked Jesus to do just that. Pretty amazing!

In the free fall

Have you ever felt backed into a corner...like you were being forced to make a decision that you really didn't want to make? Welcome to our world today.

Richard resigned from his job this morning. The job that moved us to Springfield last Fall. The job that held so much promise in the beginning. The job that has turned out to be one of the greatest trials of our lives. A shockingly unfortunate series of events that culminated on Friday placed us in a position where we felt there was no choice...and we felt God was in favor of...Richard resigning immediately.

We don't know what the future holds for us. From what we can see today, no job is waiting in the wings. There are a few possibilities, but no guarantees. I feel like I've jumped off of a cliff and I'm still in free fall waiting for my parachute to open. But we are praying. We're asking our friends and family to pray. God has always been faithful to us and we know He will be again.

I want to live in the center of God's will and normally when I pray that, I'm not thinking about gut-wrenching trials, heavy disappointments and total disillusionment. But, I think growing close to God is not about the destination but all about the journey. So, from that perspective I welcome this trial and count it all joy. What can separate us from the love of God?

Buying the Geddes' house...our version.

This is long, but it's a good story of God's provision!

Back in 2002, Richard and I were living in St. Louis. We had just had Carson, our first baby, in December and were settling in nicely to our life there. I was working from home and Richard had a good job at a national financial firm downtown. In March, his employer announced impending layoffs in his department and we started to get concerned. What would we do if Richard were to be laid off? In considering all the options, we figured that the worst case scenario would be if he was in fact laid off and we couldn’t find another job for him in St. Louis. Our game plan was to move to Poplar Bluff (Christie’s hometown) and Richard would start his own computer company there. The more we thought about it, the sweeter that idea began to sound. We liked the idea so much that even though the layoff process came and went and Richard’s job was left intact, we decided to go anyway. With a new baby in the house, we thought it would be great to live near family and we also knew that being self-employed was something that Richard had dreamed of doing. And being that Poplar Bluff is not the economic capital of the world, the standard of living is such that my salary could provide all that we needed while he built up the business.

We made the move. We felt it had been the right thing to do, but after a few months in Poplar Bluff, we began to feel the charm wearing off. We were having trouble breaking in to any kind of social relationship network….no friends. Richard, being raised in larger cities, was finding small town life a bit narrow in mindset, culture and opportunities. I became pregnant with Avery and I was approaching a point where I knew I wanted to quit working but the business had not grown enough at that point to sustain my quitting. We figured the only answer was to leave.

We began to pursue jobs in the city we most wanted to return to—Jacksonville, FL. Richard grew up in Jacksonville and that is the city where we met in the summer of ’98 so we have very fond memories there. Because of Richard’s previous work history in Jax, we knew that he had some very strong contacts there and began to make calls in pursuit of jobs. There were a lot of openings in several companies…even some companies that Richard had worked for in the past. We figured it was just a matter of time before the offers would start rolling in. We told our family that we would be moving and in the process I think nearly broke their hearts. But, they were ultimately supportive. They wanted us to be happy and were excited about me being full-time with the children. We figured that plane tickets don’t cost that much these days and we’d be able to visit often. We placed our house on the market and we began to pray.

We prayed specifically what has since become a central prayer of our family’s heart: that God would clearly open doors where we were to walk through and close them tightly where we were not so that we could clearly ascertain His will. He answered that prayer.

We listed our house on a Sunday afternoon and by Tuesday afternoon we had accepted an offer. Clearly, God was moving. We continued to pray, believing that a job offer was just around the corner. It had to be…we needed to move out in 4 weeks!

But….no one called for an interview from Jacksonville. Not one single, solitary phone call. It was perplexing to us that this would happen. After all, Richard had so many connections. Our house had sold in whirlwind fashion. We weren’t sure what to make of it. We waited a couple of weeks and still no calls. The only answer we could come up with was that it was clearly a closed door. God, in no way, wanted us to return to Jacksonville. But, we had to move somewhere…our house was sold.

We began considering moving our things into storage and living with Mom and Dad until “the job” came through. But, that didn’t seem quite right. The more we prayed, the more we felt that the closed door to Jacksonville really meant a closed door to leaving at all. We were to stay in Poplar Bluff. So, we called our realtor and began house hunting. We looked at every single house in our price range and nothing was right. Nothing. We still had just a few short weeks until we had to be out of our house. Still praying…

In the midst of all this, we received an email from the prayer network at church. A family in our church (Troy and Karla Geddes) had been called to the mission field and had been assigned to leave in just a few weeks for training. Their house was under contract and that day, the contract had fallen through. The buyers were unable to obtain financing for the house. This left them in a desperate situation to sell their house. Basically, if they didn’t sell the house, they couldn’t go. I don’t remember all of what was said in that email, just that Troy said they needed a “ram in the thicket” (Genesis 22:13) moment and for God to do a miracle.

At that point, we really only knew Troy and Karla as church acquaintances. We had never been to their home and had no idea if it was what we needed or was in our price range. Not wanting to get anyone’s hopes up too quickly, I called our pastor’s wife to see if she knew anything about their house. She told me enough that I knew we should pursue it. That night, Richard called Troy on the phone. The size of the house was right. The location was right (just down the road from church). The price was right. Could it be? Troy basically said, “This is all great that you’re interested, but you’ll have to sell your house first before you can move in and we need to have it sold right away.” Richard said, “Our house is already sold.” Goose bump moment! We drove out that night to look at the house.

All I know is that when I walked in to the house, I felt the peace of God. The house was everything we had hoped to find. Hardwood floors, plenty of bedrooms and square footage, treed lot, out in the country where we could see the stars at night. As we discussed the possibilities, it turned out that the very day that we were set to close on the house we had sold was the exact same day that Troy and Karla had to be in Virginia for training before leaving for the mission field. The same day!!

I truly believe that God held that house under an ultimately failed contract so that realtors would not be showing it for all those weeks. The house was reserved for us. Reserved until the exact perfect moment when the Geddes would need to sell it and the exact perfect moment when we would need to buy it. And, he prepared us by selling our house so swiftly that we were able to be the “ram in the thicket” for our friends…amazing evidence of God’s provision and ability to care for them in the moments before stepping into a new are of service.

I’m writing about all of this for two reasons. One, I want to remember God’s faithfulness to me. And two, testimony is very powerful. I hope it’s an encouragement to others. We thought we were moving to Florida. Instead, we were moving across town! :) How good God is when we submit to his ways.

And in striking contrast....

...today I was picking up some things in my bedroom and Avery happened to come in. I asked her to take her shoes to her room and she said, "But moooooom, I'm tiiirrreddd of cleaning all the time! I don't want to pick up my shoes." After a bit more discussion she finally complied and then immediately followed with, "What can I play with?" She's presently talking herself aloud through what Mr. Potato Head ought to wear today, considering the weather and what will match his funny orange feet.

Music to mommy's ears...

Excerpt of conversation I just had with Carson:

Carson: "Hey mom, do you know what my favorite thing is?"
Me: "No, what is it?"
Carson: "Helping! And do you know what my next favorite thing is?...CLEANING!"

That was music to my ears. He really does mean it, too...at least for today...he's been my big helper all morning.

What We're Learning from Dora the Explorer

So today, Richie and Avery were helping me make lasagna for dinner. "Helping" consists of sitting up on the counter and spreading the shredded cheese over the layers. Richie (who, keep in mind is two years old and is just beginning to formulate sentences and is quite far from a mastery of the English vocabulary) was having trouble opening his cheese packet. He starts shouting, "Say ABRE! Say ABRE!," which of course is Spanish for "say OPEN, say OPEN!" I think he's been watching a little too much of our Spanish-speaking cartoon friend, Dora. It's one thing to learn a new Spanish word, but it's an entirely different thing to actually expect the cheese packet to open itself on command!

Baby Ailee

For anyone who doesn't already know, I have a new little Scottish niece in my life...Ailee Mae Seawel. My brother, Dan, and his wife Julie became parents on January 25. I've included a picture here. I'm a very proud aunt!! :) And, I'm thrilled that one of my siblings (or, actually his wife!) has taken over baby-having duty in our family for awhile. Isn't she cute??

Aversions and Affinities

Every now and then I think most parents begin to notice some trait or pattern or mode of behavior in their child which is hilarious and simultaneously rather disturbing. We've discovered such a trait in our youngest son, Richie.

He has an aversion to trousers and an affinity for shoes....any shoes. His own, mine, his sister's, his dad's.

What's more is that this aversion to trousers has recently morphed into the incredibly alarming dislike of his diaper as well. Imagine your two-year-old child running in on your dinner with friends wearing only his shirt and mommy's high heels...nothing else! Yes, that has happened. We've spared the viewing public those particular images, but we've included others here for your fun.

He will grow out of this......right??

When we don't get our way

I just told Avery that we were going to listen to Veggie Tales: Bob & Larry Sing the 70's instead of her choice of the Madagascar Movie Soundtrack (she likes to "move it, move it"). Her response was her new favorite thing to say when she is denied something. "I'm giving up now."

Incidentally, Carson's usual tactic when disappointed is to punish me by punishing himself. He pouts, "I'm going to the corner!" and proceeds directly there. Richie just screams and runs away.

We're working on more positive responses to disappointments.

I typically take out frustration by cleaning the house. My house has been spotless lately!