Chats around the AMAs…

Last night after church, I snuggled up on the couch with the kids in front of the TV. There wasn't much on, so I decided to turn on the American Music Awards that I had recorded. Since we almost NEVER watch anything like this, I was hesitant but figured the pause/fast forward would come in handy. Boy did it ever! We were only able to watch about 15% of what the show had to offer, but I just had to share some of the keen observances the kids had.

Me: Okay guys, we can watch a little bit of this show until it gets weird. (Christina Aguilera's opening act was first.)

Carson (a mere 12 seconds later just after Christina freed herself of her modest coat to reveal whatever that was she was wearing underneath): Ok, Mom, I think it's getting weird.

 

Fast Forward to New Kids On The Block:

Me: Oh, hey, New Kids! These guys were really popular when I was in Jr. High.

Carson: They don't look like kids.

Avery: Yeah, are they gonna change their name?

 

Fast Forward to whoever it was that introduced Pink. I'm not sure who it was, but he had "issues":

Avery: Is he nervous?

Me (slightly under my breath): I think he's stoned.

Carson: What? He's moving. He's not stone!

Carson (a little later): Her name is PINK??

Avery: Is it because she wears pink all the time?

Me: I have no idea why her name is Pink.

 

Fast Forward through a few other award announcements and strange performances:

Avery (tenderhearted as ever): If we said we didn't like this to them would it hurt their feelings?

 

Fast Forward to Miley Cyrus:

Avery: I CAN'T BELIEVE HANNAH MONTANA IS REAL!!!!!!!

 

Fast Forward to Ashley Tisdale making an announcement:

Carson: She looks JUST LIKE Sharpay!

Me: She is Sharpay.

Carson: No she's not…she's BROWN! (I'm not sure if he was referring to her hair or to her spray tan, but clearly she could not have been Sharpay.)

Fun times in the Wal-Mart bathroom…(TMI alert)

Richie and I did the grocery run today. The last stop of the morning was Wal-Mart and by the time we got there, my breakfast smoothie had made its way to the exit and I had to use the facilities. Normally, I try to avoid such trips, but today it could not be helped. Richie happily tagged along after I promised we could go back and revisit the Lightning McQueen pillow that I peeled him away from.

I need to preface this story be letting you know that the kids had a little tummy trouble last week. I'm on high monitor for all restroom activities and have been asking all sorts of obnoxious mommy questions about the "status" of their goings. So, what follows is probably all my fault yet nevertheless embarrassing.

Richie requested to sit outside the restroom on the bench and wait for me, but I didn't trust the situation. So, he came in with me but opted to wait in the sink area. The restroom was empty so I felt it was ok. I mean, what in the world could he get into? In a public restroom. Out of my reach. Anyway…

Shortly, another woman entered. That's when Richie decided to start quizzing me. He asked, in loud echo-y fashion – "Mom, are you going POOP or PEE???"

SILENCE. Pretend he didn't just say that. Hope the lady next door didn't hear it.

Rich: "MOM! Are you going POOP or PEE???"

Me: "Can you just wait a minute please?"

Rich: "But are you going POOP or PEE???"

Me: "Richie, please. Be quiet."

Rich: "But MOM…are you going POOP or PEE???"

Me: (mortified) "Can we please just talk about it in a minute?"

Thankfully, he decided to end his line of questioning, but then decided to get down on the floor, peek under the stall door and announce, "Hey, Mom! I can SEEEEEE YOU!" I couldn't decide if I was more bothered that he was peeking in on me, that he was announcing it or that he was CRAWLING AROUND ON THE FLOOR OF THE PUBLIC RESTROOM!

Next time, I'm definitely bringing him all the way in with me. At least that way, I can physically hush him if he starts getting too nosey!

Sweetest thing ever…

If you had been at our house on this restful Sunday afternoon, you would have been delighted by the sweetness. I knew it was coming, but it was better than I anticipated.

Last night, Avery told me that she and Daddy were planning a garage sale that would be held in her bedroom. This came shortly on the heels of a discussion between her and me about making some space in her bedroom for some possible new toys she would receive at Christmas. I thought she and Daddy just might be doing a little re-organizing. But no, this was strictly for FUN.

After all had been prepped this afternoon, I heard the call from upstairs…"We need some customers!" When I topped the stairs, I saw this:

Now, seriously. Is that not the sweetest thing ever?? She had another one taped on the front of her bedroom door:

When I walked in, she had arranged everything just perfectly. There was music playing in the background. She had neatly displayed several outfits on her bed. All of the "bags" she had for sale were stacked neatly together. I was free to peruse her closet for anything I might want to purchase. There was even a neatly covered basket in the corner which contained items "not currently for sale." (In case you're wondering…her baby dolls.)

I dutifully played the role of interested and chatty neighbor. Even Carson got in on the action. He played the part of "George"…the old guy next door who traditionally comes by several times throughout the yard sale checking to see if anything new has been laid out. By the end of the 30-minute garage sale, he had made four stops at the sale and had spent approximately $624,332.12. It was not a cheap sale.

I also found out that Avery's dad was not married and did not have a girlfriend, so I took the opportunity to slip him my phone number. Wink, wink.

I know Avery had a wonderful time setting it all up with her Daddy and Carson did declare it was "the very best garage sale EVER." I have to agree. I scored a holiday Avon catalog, a stretchy yellow exercise band and a purple sweater Avery never wears for only a million bucks and one sweet kiss!