Blessings that bring humility

Since Richard resigned from his job, we have been so blessed with support from friends and family. It's been amazing. The love that we feel has been so encouraging. But yesterday we were blessed with a gift that is literally so great that it's unspeakable. It was a Malachi 3:10 blessing...God literally opened up the windows of heaven and heaped something on us that was amazing!

My initial reaction was to run from the blessing. The first word out of my mouth was "NO!" I was upset. I thought, "I can't receive this. The gift is too great. I'll never be able to repay it. Are we really that needy?" To my deceived ears it sounded like a proper, humble response. "Oh, no, we've got this. We can handle it. God bless you for your generosity, but no." The more I've thought about it though, it was not a humble response at all but the opposite--a proud one. The "NO!" was in reaction to the pain of a generous arrow piercing my proud heart. I am realizing that I am too proud to gracefully receive such a humbling gift. To receive it requires me to recognize that yes, I do have need. I want God to bless me in great ways, but I don't want to be brought to the point of great need that is often required for blessings to be felt. I want God to bless me in great ways, but I don't want to relinquish control of my life in a way that enables Him to bless me. Losing control and being in need is very uncomfortable. But, I'm beginning to see that it brings about the humility that pleases Him and that opens the door for his grace and provision to be poured out in my life.

Another thought came to mind as well..."Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13. If I'm struggling to humbly recognize my level of need and receive the symbolic laying down of a life from a friend in our present situation, how can I possibly have recognized my full level of need regarding Jesus laying down his life for me? If I am too proud to receive a significant gift from a friend, is it therefore possible that I have been too proud to really understand the full work of grace offered to me at the cross? For so much GREATER a gift was that! And so much GREATER the humility required to understand how much grace has been offered.