My baby....

He was just born yesterday, I swear it. That little bundle of joy who stubbornly required 36 hours of my labor before he decided to exit my body.....after he was already a week overdue! That sweet tiny bundle of pure sugary love who kept us up WAY too much that first month....who wouldn't stop crying at 3am until I sat on the edge of the bed and bounced with him until I thought my legs and back would collapse in protest.

He can't be 5 years old and ready for Kindergarten. Of course, everyone told me it would go by quickly....to enjoy these days while he is at home because they are the BEST and they are so short. I couldn't really see it while I was trying to keep myself from drowning in his diapers and milk and spit-up, not to mention the mountain of laundry created but such a small critter. But, they were right. It has gone by too quickly. He graduated from his preschool church program a couple of weeks ago. I couldn't help but get misty-eyed as he marched toward the stage while Pomp and Circumstance played through the air. Richard and I were so proud!!

When we decided that I would stay home with the kids, it was primarily for these years. These years while they are fully under our watch alone. These years that, for him, are drawing to a close in the next few weeks. Have I done what I set out to do? Have we helped him feel secure? Have we prepared him for school? Have we made good memories? I pray so.

In 4 weeks, he'll head out for Kindergarten. Hopefully the other two treasures still at home with me won't find me curled up in bed in the fetal position sobbing my eyes out that day! I know it will be hard. But, this is just the first of many transitions, I know. Do they get easier? In one way, I hope so, because this is really difficult for me. But, in another way I hope it's not any easier. Maybe that will be a sign that we're doing what we've set out to do.

They say that growing up is all about the process of leaving. I cried when he left my womb. I cried when we left the hospital three days later. I cried when he left to stay overnight across the street with Lola. I cried when he graduated preschool. Chance are, I'll cry again. But, they'll be tears of joy and tears of good memories and tears of thankfulness that God gave us such an incredible child.

I'm so proud of you, Carson! Raising you through these 5 years has been one of the greatest joys of my life. I hope there are many more laughs and joyous tears to come!