My flute...

Well, I've picked her up again. I think it's been about 13 years since I've really tried to play her. Aside from a couple of VERY short stints in a church setting here and there, I've not played my flute at all. Sad, really, considering playing an instrument is a great skill to have and how skilled I might be if I'd kept playing all these years....

I started playing first in the 5th grade. Mrs. Cheri Dawe started a little band at the school I attended. I'm not sure why I chose the flute, but wow, it was pretty much solidified when Cheryl Talley from our church up and GAVE me the flute she had played as a child. What a blessing! If she bought it new, my guess is that my little flute is about 40 years old now. It's not a name brand flute. It's not a super shiny flute like the ones my girlfriends had. The handle has even broken off of the jumbo-sized case which always drew curious looks from other band members. But, wow, what joy!

I played in the little school band for a couple of years and then stopped until later in high school when our church started a small orchestra. I remember fumbling through the notes, having truly no idea really what I was doing. Never a formal lesson. I had a good friend in that orchestra who encouraged and challenged me a lot in my playing and convinced me to join the band at my public high-school which I did but not before he taught me to play the saxophone. Yes, because what girl wants to play a girly flute in an all-girls section when she can make the easy transition and play a much cooler instrument in a co-ed section?? So, my senior year of high school, I joined band for the first time...as a saxophonist. And the flute took second place. Well, actually third place after the band director decided that if I could learn saxophone so quickly, why not the band's much needed oboe? I did pick up my flute from time to time...like to try out for all-district band (which I did make it into but just by the hair of my chinny chin chin) or to play in the church orchestra. But, for the most part after that, I was all saxophone.

I played sax in college for a couple of years. I loved it even though I was probably one of the very least trained players among my peers. They all had been playing since something like sixth grade! Festival this, concert that, honor band here, super jazz soloist there. I remember the first day I showed up for band camp at SMS, one of the girls who I first met was an All-State saxophone player from the year before. Being a second year player, yeah, I was intimidated. I had the very old saxophone that Uncle Roy had given to me for high school....it had an awful musty smell emanating from it, but it was all that I had and I played it with gusto. I remember learning that most of my peers actually had TWO saxophones. One for marching and one for concert. I'd never even considered such a lofty idea. I learned about different brands and strengths of reeds, jazz mouthpieces vs. concert. I really was behind. But, as it turns out, I was able to hold my own and actually felt pretty good about my accomplishments considering how little experience I had. I really enjoyed playing a lot, but knowing that it wasn't my "calling" (and amid some of the craziest God-directed events of my life which will perhaps appear in another blog) I just stopped. And then came the silence. I literally have not touched a saxophone since my last concert at SMSU in...hmm....let's see....1996? If I picked one up today, Lord only knows what sorts of horrific sounds would burst forth!

But, feeling the need to get back to music in some form, I've decided to return to my flute. Partly because I have no idea what happened to my saxophone and mostly because I feel like it's the instrument that most closely resembles the real me at this point in my life. I went to the music shop this week and bought two simple books and a folding music stand. I pulled the flute out from under my bed, dusted her off and pieced her together. First thing I played? B flat scale. Wow. But, the more I practiced, the more I remembered. It was quite fun and I sure drew an audience of family members who wanted to hear what in the world Mommy was doing!!

My goal? To get better. Just for the sake of getting better. There's something in me that wants to keep learning. Something satisfiying about improving myself in this area...even if it means nothing to anyone else in the world. I want to play well. Who knows...maybe you'll see me in the church orchestra again someday? But for now, I'll be working on my scales and my new book of "festival pieces." It feels good.