Science fair...

Do I have to? Do I REALLY HAVE TO….help my children with their science projects? Seriously. We just finished up History Day for which each child had to choose a historical character, write and memorize a one-page speech, come up with a period costume and present all the facts they’ve learned about said character on a cheerfully decorated poster board. Avery chose Hannah of the Bible and Carson was King Richard the Lionhearted. I survived History Day. Barely.

Just when I started to come down from that frenzy, I was whiplashed into the next big TO DO.

Science Fair.

For Avery, science fair requires her to choose and animal, create some sort of visual display and present her findings regarding the animal to her classroom. Then, she must be prepared to be drilled by the judges. She chose the whale. Did you know that the whale blows mostly air and snot out of its blowhole? Now you do.

Carson wanted to answer the question “Where is lightning before it strikes?” I was hoping we could just send a letter to God on that one and be done with it. But, no. He did an experiment involving rubbing a balloon on his hair and then touching it to a fluorescent light bulb. Voila!…lightning. He had to write a paper to accompany his demonstration, present it to the class and create yet another poster board revealing his findings.

Can I just say that when a child is 6 or 8 years old, they require an enormous amount of help when it comes to these projects? They have no concept of the scientific method, hypotheses, theories, cause and effect, natural laws, etc. They can barely tie their shoes. Add to that the fact that the Science Fair is a JUDGED event and you have the makings of one nasty mama-child cocktail – one part competition, one part perfection, one part impatience and one part deadlines. AGH! I’ve literally awoken in the middle of the night worried over these projects like they were some sort of college entrance exam.

Do the kids care? Not a bit. I’m the only one stressed – torn between “do everything for them so it actually gets done” and “let them do the work themselves and present a ridiculous looking effort that pales in comparison to every other fair entry which was obviously done by a parent and not a six year old!”

Remember that day when you graduated college and you thought to yourself, “YES! Thank God! No more exams, projects, assignments, speeches, group projects! It’s over!!” …..???

Yeah….me neither.